why?

u r d 1st 2 make me believe in love...
u r d 1st who gave me d confidence 2 love..
u r d 1st 2 who understands my situation..
n most incredibly..for all my life, stil u r d only person who can read my expression...can read my face..behind all diz laughter n smiles..y? hw do u do dat? n how do u knw?
u can read me...how n y?
many ppl cnt read d expressions on my face...all i did everyday was jz smile n laugh...i couldnt help it..but wen u told me dat u could read my sorrow..n d words dat u told me before...i was shock...dumbfounded...u knew...u knew hw i felt..n u knew y i kept everything in my heart..u knew d reason..u r nt me...u r nt god...but y?
y did u treat me extremely good wen i jz treated u like a normal fren?..
y did u wipe of d stain off my face wit ur bare hands wen u knew u hated being dirty?
y did u sacrifice ur files 2 prevent me getting soaked under d rain?
y did u walk all d way 2 my house jz 2 get me food wen i didnt even tell u dat im hungry but actually i was?
y did u hold my hands wen we cross d road?
y did u cry for me wen i was crying on d inside but nt d outside?
y did ur ears turn red wen u saw me in a dress for d 1st time?
y did u make me so confuse?
n most importantly...y did u leave?
itz been 2 years...u knw...2 years!!
do u knw hw long was dat? n hw cme im d last 1 2 knw?
u had diz thing growing in u...n y didnt u tell me?
u cud read my body language n my expressions but i cudnt read yours...
u were oways laughing, smiling, playing around, teasing me n trying 2 make happy n i nvr realized d pain dat u went through...
y didnt u jz tell me?
i feel like such a fool...im soo disapointed of myself...i failed 2 read u...but u read me so easily..
u ever once told me dat we r jz like novels..all d words r written on our face..all we nd 2 do is jz read den we will knw d contents...
u knew hw much i love novels n we hv d same interest in music n arts..i still rmb u drawing a potrait of me..but u wudnt gv it 2 me..
u ever told me dat i was d only person who cud gv him d warmth dat he has nvr experienced...
u ever told me dat i was d only girl who meant so much 2 u...
i jz kept quiet...at 1st i was afraid 2 love until d words dat u said gained my confidence n i tolf myself i was ready..
u said u hv something 2 gv me on x'mas..derz still 2 months 2 go on dat time...2 me 2 months passed like 2 weeks so i didnt mind n said ok...
d next week u told me dat u r going 2 migrate 2 australia 2 further ur studies...i cried on d spot...but comforted me n told me dat u will b bk on x'mas 2 gv me d surprise dat u promised me...i nodded...i trusted u
2 months ltr...i waited 4 ur answer...wer 2 meet? wat time? n wat should we wear? i hv a give for u too...
i still rmb on d 28th... u havent appeared...something was wrong...i cud sense it...i couldnt call ur house n u nvr replied my emails..nt even my calls...wats happening?im soo confused...u asked me 2 wait...i waited...but wer r u? do u knw hw much i missed u dat time? u ever once told me hw much u loved clovers..i bought a pair of it...pure jade..i wanted 2 gv u dat...n all i cn do is jz kp it...nobody knws about it...nt even my mum...
i was angry at u..u made me disapointed...u said on dat day u wanted 2 tell me something...n u said u wanted 2 watch d stars wit me...n u said u wanted my life 2 better after on dat day...i already hv d idea on wat ur gonna ask on dat day...i was rili happy at dat time...i couldnt wait in fact...
i waited...n in d end i gave up...wen i asked ur frenz, dey said u migrated n had a new gf perhaps..i felt cheated, ashamed of myself...angry n disapointed...cried in d toilet..it hurts..
but nw...itz been 2 years...u received an email diz morning...an invitation 2 ur 2nd anniversary...i tot u got married or something but it wasnt...it was a funeral...
wat actually happened 2 u??? y m i d last 1 2 knw? i tot u said u wud tell me everything?
y did u lie 2 me? y did u say u migrated 2 australia wen u actually got admitted 2 ICU???
bryan told me ur tumour spread 2 ur nervous system..u got paralysed n fainted..u asked bryan 2 swear nt 2 tell me anything...but y? u're afraid dat i might cry or commit suicide or something?
bryan said after 3 days u left...wich was a week after u contacted me...i tot u didnt wan me anymore...but it wasnt...d 1st thing dat happened 2 me wen i read d email was cry...bryan found my email in ur previous chest at d attic in inanam...i cnt believe u still kept my hp number dat i wrote on a mcd receipt wen u asked me out on d 1st time...
i tot wat u told me was jz a joke...but it wasnt...plz...
y did u leave me hanging like diz?
2 years n i was d laz 1 2 knw...n no 1 wanted 2 admit...hw many ppl hv u tell dem 2 swear nt 2 tell me? even ur parents?
bryan told me u wanted 2 gv me my potrait...d 1 dat u hv drawn..dat i hv wanted for ages...n attached 2 it was a love letter...u plan 2 ask a chance frm me dat time... but b4 x'mas u were already admitted 2 hospital...around september...
i hv no idea y i cud stil smile wen deep inside me im so hurt..sometimes i cud feel ur presence around me...protecting me or something...i missed u...no one has ever did such adorable things 2 me like dat...nt even my exes...i feel so ashamed for blaming u..
rumours were heard dat d potrait was buried wit u...i wish i cud find bk d clover...but eversince i moved i nvr brought it wit me...i tot it wasnt meaningful anymore...i was a fool 2 believe d negative rumours bout u hooking up wit a girl or something...but it was too late...
i hv no idea wat 2 do nw...all i cn do is cry while reading d email n remembering all d memories dat u hv given me...y must u make it so sweet?
we nvr had a chance 2 start but u hv already left..for 2 years u hv left...u left me behind...u nvr said goodbye...
d last word u said was "goodnight kitty..c u in my dream..missed u..n dont 4get 2 miss me"..i laughed...i tot it was a joke or something...but ur words made me so happy till i cnt fell aslp dat night...u're stronger den caffeine n paracetamol..
u're like my medicine 2 everything..
i still miss u...but im nt sure if u're looking after me frm d above...god is protecting u...n i knw u hv been protecting me as well..
i wanted 2 c u...i wanted 2 hold u...but my tears wudnt let me..i cnt even hold u..
is diz d end of our novel? or jz d starting?
all i wanted 2 say was i love u...eventhough u wont b able 2 hv a chance 2 read diz blog..my feelings...hw i felt diz few years...but deep in my heart...from d bottom of my brokenheart...i will oways rmb ur sweet gesture...d memories dat u left behind...
condolescence...
bless eu...
remember me...

weird week? ==

mmmm..
sori didnt write for diz few days...
but kinda happy...after all diz few days have passed..
kinda nice...a lil sweet?
lolx...(face red) eek >< i duno hw 2 express dat...hahax passed up my assignments n was relieved...thk god...n i got "A's" >w< wee~ celebrated wit my frenz n was rili satisfied wit my work...hahax lucky d lecturer liked my idea...sigh stil remembered d mcd part...so sweet...winston, ah loon n zack n I went 2 mcd 4 supper...lolx i wasnt hungry so i jz ate d apple pie while 3 of dem grabbed d GCB... (golden ci bai?) omg...bad word hahax XDDD i saw d happy meal toy...nt exactly a toy but a plushy..so cute n itz a sugarbunny...i wanted 2 take d happy meal but i was scared i couldnt finish it so i took d apple pie instead...suddenly @@ zack said he wasnt full n he went over 2 d counter...i tot he ordered something else but wen he came bk...happy meal @@ omg he gave me d sugarbunny...n i was eyeing d white one n he got d white one i was like eeeeekkkk >w< i was like over d moon XD so sweet...n dat damn winston n ah loon kp eyeing both of us n kp tou tou xiao == yea...smart la u guys == lolx n at D'mamak...winston n ah loon! y u guys kp teasing me?? T.T huhu...eeeyer...so paiseh la...oways sengaja make my face red2 de >< eeekkk... but...d feeling is nt strong yet...nt rili der yet...lolx...wat cn i say? im gonna move soon...currently at d 3rd floor gonna move 2 d 8th floor lolx...i wonder hw im gonna move my stuff == hope d guys cud lend a hand...den ltr blanja makan XD wakaka... but paiseh la if i ask dem... >< mm...diz few days rili like ghost la...slp so late...i mean soooooo early...hahax... XD if u get wat i meant... n haix...stupid guys...kp calling n kp smsing me...as if im 7-eleven or something n kp asking me fei hua n stupid nonsense == ish if u got other motif dun come luk 4 again...if u wanna tell me something tell properly la...u dun go fili fala der cn o nt?make me headache weh == so noisy...n childish...eeee ><>
(run away) >

silence is gold?

im nt sure if it's a gud idea 2 tell it out here...
i knw he doesnt read my blog...jz a guess but datz wat i assume so i guess im gonna write it all here...
but izit a gud choice? i duno...i've been feeling rili weird diz few dayz...not jz my mood but feelingz...
im nt sure...i havent told any1 yet...nt a single soul...i knw some ppl might think itz some1 close 2 me or perhaps my past...but maybe both of it might not b it...
i duno hw 2 express it...all i knw is whenever im alone or walking alone or doin watever alone...i will start thinking bout it...
i've oways asked myself whether it might happen or nt?
will it EVER happen?
i hate diz feeling...i duno y i hate being left alone diz few days...i duno y all of a sudden diz happened...
sometimes my eyes wud jz prick a tear or wud day dream all of a sudden...
i knew diz isnt deppression...i had dat once n it didnt felt like diz...but diz was different...
i assume most of d ppl reading diz wud nt understand wat im trying 2 say...becuz i havent told any1 about diz...
hw long cn i smile like diz? hw long will it take 2 get bk? hw long? n y?
i've oways wished 4 a respond from you...but...nt even a reply...im not even sure whether i might get 2 share so much n meet u again...i decided 2 leave d circle...i wasnt meant 2 b in it...i wasnt supposed 2 b....im nt part of it...im d oddest...yeah i am...
i had diz feeling dat... dat it wud nt happen...wat i've dreamt...n wat i've imagines...silly me...itz jz an imagination n im already thinking dat way...psycho ==
maybe....maybe i shud jz stay silent...do my own stuff...no no no nt mourning..itz jz...jz trying 2 make myself 2 4get diz feelings....
becuz...
i've fallen...
i fell...
n itz hard 2 describe diz heart beating stuff...
im sori i was weird...n day by day...sigh...
i was a nuisance i was a pain i was a chatterbox...i talked too much...y cnt i jz zip it...omg
i've ruined myself...
i was right...i shouldnt tell...i've made diz mistake before...n i thought being honest wud hv itz positive effects...not...it turned out way bad...freaked out...
1st mistake...nvr a 2nd...i dun wan dat 2 happen again...
i vow nvr 2 tell...unless...if u ask...only u...i wont answer any1 except u...but...it all depends...2nd mistake...how long will dat occur?
n wen will be it?
hw i wish i cud jz predict d future...so i'd knw wat might happen...but life wudnt b fair like dat...i knw god hv his own way of leading our lives...
im trying 2 believe it...trying 2 smile...trying 2 stop diz tearz..
n i hope...dat 1 day u will b d 1 who will catch diz tearz of mine...b der 2 be my warmth n shelter...n 2 b d apple of my eye...
d 1 n only...
no 1 will understand n no 1 cud guess...if u happen 2 read diz...i dun think u might itz u...i dun think u might know wat im trying 2 tell...like i said im weird...stupid...a pin in d neck...a nuisance...a freak...
i jz wish i cud tell u diz...but i cnt...ur expressions...u oways dun luk happy 2 c me around...u're oways busy...n u sound annoyed...
i duno y...i jz hv diz feeling but im nt sure if itz true cuz i've oways had diz 6th sense n im oways asking myslf whther i shud trust it o nt...
no wonder silence is gold....
n i will kp 2 dat...
vowed...
im out ~

misunderstandingz.... ==

eek... ><
managed 2 complete most of my assignments in time...wohoo..gud job miyuki...
sienz everyday stay at home...rili sienz...2bad im d more outgoing type of person...rather hang out with my frenz...but nt 2 doz hen lan d places la...even chit chatting or mamaking is more den enuf XD i love spending time wit frenz...
mayb i shud cut down on supper...roti telur ==
soon im gonna gain weight...n by dat time nobody wud wan me...wakaka...
dat wud b a disaster T.T werz my prince? traffic jam belum sampai ah?lolx...weirdo ==
winston n clarence used 2 kp reviving d topics about zavk ==
omg...wat is going on around here ==
n nw itz alferh's turn...adui...winston oh winston...y u go brainwash alferh ah? ><
haix...i truly dun understand y diz is happening...i cnt even feel dat he has feelings 2wards me o nt...n dat wud nvr happen 4 god sake...y r u guys oways imagining things d other way round...if he shows interest den mayb itz diff la...but he didnt lor...so dun kp talking bout it...makes me feel weird n YEAH i dun believe it even if u guys kp saying it...i'd oni believe it if he said it frm his own mouth...n dat will link to 1 word = IMPOSSIBLE ==
u guys r driving me crazy... ==
do nt talk d impossible... XD whoa sounds like mission impossible... ==
i hope he doesnt read diz...oopz...cuz i assume dat he wud nvr wanna read my blog...wat a guess ==
diz is lame ==
childish la...ish...stop reviving d topics...diam2 ubi fan shu...n jz do ur assignments...guai guai good...
== haix lolx...
disaster weh if he knew u guys kp reviving such topics...weird2 de ==
apa punya bro == ( eek >< )
looking 4 glass bottle 4 my bottle design...diz is gonna b hard...free hand drawing in d glass bottle...if itz printing it might luk neater but free hand drawing especially acrylic on glass is nt a good option...messy n static...but datz wat d teacher wants T.T
y must it b part of d rules...ish ==
omg...hv been slping rili late...becoming a nite ghost soon...cnt believe it...slept rili late n stil cn wake up early in d morn...no wonder diz few days i've been feeling a lil cranky n wires r a lil out of order...kinda electrocuted ==
geesh...omg...stop asking me ><>
stop calling me n smsing me ><
stop alarming me n talking endless nonsense 2 me...itz nt dat i dun wanna hear...u're losing 2 much of my time == i'd rather work out on my assignments n hang out wit my frenz den listening 2 all ur lame excuses bout diz n dat...i didnt even ask n u're already talking 2 urself all d way down d lane...i cnt believe im still facing lectures in entertainment world...argh...u're spoiling it ><
i jz wanna hv fun but appreciate life at d same time... >w<
wee~

same as usual.....==

finished a few assignments...but more wud pop out...i hv no idea wen i wud meet d fullstop ==
drawing is my passion...but too much of it wud seriously drive me mad..especially wen it comes to brainstorming...
hv been hanging out at winston's place lately..with zavk n ah lun...enjoyed watching dem completing their assignments...somehow i find it rather fun n peaceful hanging out der rather den staying at home n facing d same old thing...if u get wat i mean ==
haix...weekend was nvr fun..so i didnt actually bear dat in mind...was oways hoping 4 better...
monday nite i had a long chat wit zavk...it cured my boredomness n at d same time i somehow get 2 knw more bout him...it was fun...like a storybook or something...we shared a lot...didnt expected dat...
winston n ah lun were funny wen dey played snooker...i was like sitting behind wit zavk..we both chatted while dey both played n it was damn funny...their butts kp facing me wen dey wanted 2 aim 4 d balls...i was like sweat ==|||...
diz few days, hv been up till d early morn...panda + cat = ??? ==
pandat?pancat? == lolx
haix...wil b facing my midterm test diz thursday...hope 4 d best...
dry media assignments r also due on thursday...friday's d worst...final artwork 4 pepsi...eek...havent finalised my design yet...derz jz too much 2 choose..nt sure wich 2 finalised...eekk...
hope my drawings cud atleast fascinate d lecturer ..even a bit might lighten me up...i dun wanna c d sour look on his face...especially after he saw drawings dat were drawn by my mates..he luks pissed all d time wnever its their turn...so reminding myself 2 b oways 1st 2nd or 3rd in line...nvr in between or behind...dun wanna b d last 2 cry T.T
lolx...God Bless Me!!... >w

will diz life be changed?

've oways thought of having a better life...but perhaps nt at diz time...n i realized i've actually gotten used 2 my bz and hectic life...some of my frenz still couldnt cope..maybe time might heal dem..
cls was ok...but funny incidents did happen diz 2day..during lecture...my frenz n i kept laughing over diz "goldfish" guy who suddenly came 2 hug us jz 2 get in2 d picture...awkward but it did freaked my fren out...she was seriously terrified n her expressions did make me laugh till my face went all red like a tomato XD
wen i went bk after cls...i hungout arnd winston's n zavk's plce...started drawing my sketches but was lost of ideas wen i drew halfway...mind blocked..==
i was at their balcony n it started 2 drizzle..something popped up in my mind again...i started 2 grew quiet all of a suddent...was thinking of something but wen i try 2 ask myself wat was i thinking? diz thoughts kinda jz disappear like dat..diz has been happening eversince i came 2 KL..memories?past?wen will my mind get over it...especially during rainy days...
my frenz told me dat i might need some1 2 talk to...lonesome is wat dey usualy describe me behind doz laughter n happy face.."how did u manage to cover all dat?" == ...i seriously duno hw 2 answer dem...i dun wan other ppl 2 get d wrong idea...n i dun wan 2 make any1 worried...it makes me feel guilty at d same time..i dun wan dem 2 think dat i "minta kesian"...dats nt wat i wan...i wanted life 2 b normal...i hate ppl thinking like dat..think d wrong n negative way..
zavk had a long chat wit me at d balcony...it was kinda of a nice chat..shared alot though...
had supper ltr wit ah lun, winston & zavk...ah klun n winston wanted 2 play snooker but it was full so d plan was kinda out of line...so we went bk 2 melati...dey played pool n it was kinda humourous...competing against each other..hahax...
went bk n tried 2 slp but i cnt so i started fb-ing n msn-ing 2 pass my time...updating my blog...haix...i feel like wanna breath some fresh air...get out n hv some fun instead of staying at home all day like im trapped in jail doin my assignments all day long...seriously it sux...although i like drawing...but i cnt brainstorm wen im nt out.. i wish i cud c more things around my place here...
i wish i cud learn more...itz nice 2 hv frenz like winston n zavk...unfortunately clarence found a job n moved out dy..kinda sad..T.T
4 ppl had commented bout my thoughts dy...nt a typical 18 yr old...i sound mre older den dat... == omg...especially 2 doz who had lotsa heart 2 heart talk wit me...eek ><
i dun wanna sound old...i dun wanna b ah po ==
diffrnt ppl hv diffrnt points of view n comments..was dat n insult or a complimet? T.T ouch...lolx

robotic...==

life has oways been busy like this...

kinda got used to it...no fair...my frenz get to go out n gai2...eek...i wanna join...but den my assignments wont let me T.T

completed a few assignments early...wee~

wpnt hv 2 worry dat much ltr...sketching 4 dry media wine glass & designing pepsi...

lolx...im outta ideas...all comments will be like "i want something special"...

we did lotsa research but stil he's nt satsfied...hmm ==

jia you....

laz nite whole day at fud court...doin assignments n guessed wat...it rained...scary T.T

ltr at nite hang out at my frenz hse...did resume der voila...cnt believe i did dat in an hour time...wakaka...

felt hungry n went 4 supper at genting kelang...zavk drove us anyway...kelian he told me dat "when he's a driver, will oways b a driver" lolx ==

pity him...i cn imagine hw much he needed 2 spend 4 his petrol...it must hv hurt his wallet...dey were seriously super duper nice 2 me...chatted a lot n yeah i liked d atmosphere but i feel weird cuz i wasnt suppose 2 b wit their cycle...

winston designed a packaging for an instant noodle i guess..

dey were rili nice to me but den i feel like im a lightbulb or kelefeh or some sort...

eek...i rather mine my own stuff...shouldnt b such a troublemaker...

...............==

meow?

relaxing in the midst of busying?

Its week 6th in college n derz odi 8 assignments 2 b completed by nx week..
stress like hell..
i nd 2 pass up 5 of dem by diz wk n 3 by nx week...
itz like it has become part of my life routine of non-stop assignments...
besides, i think itz better den memorizing all doz thick bukz n calculation...i was nvr interested in academical subjects but was forced 2 so yeah i dun hv 2 suffer dat in college...thnk god...hahax
recently a fren of mine named melvin contacted me...he had diz crisi wit his gf...n his gf had another bf...he couldnt accept d fact dat his gf dumped him over another guy but i told him 2 b strong n no matter wat life must go on...
he still acted stubborn...i shook my head...i wonder wat wud happen ltr...i was jz worried bout him as a fren n he mistaken i fell 4 him...omg...sweat ==
he ask me 2 gv him time n all dat but im nt interested...2 me he's stil nt matured enuf 4 me n i dun think he even understnds me..
i ussualy like guys who understands me well n has a thinks maturely even in critical situations...it drives me nuts if a person happen 2 wanna commit suicide or do something crazy or wailed or watever in front of me...i'll feel awkward...nt my cup of tea...
haix...
seriously i dun wanna get involved wit him...he seems annoying n yeah i've oways wanted peace...weekend sucked...assignments whole day...well except for saturday...i went 2 carrefour 2 get some stuff n did a lil of walking...kinda entertaining...atleast itz better den ntg...i dun expect much...
monday...every1 hates diz day of d week...i though after i passed my redo-ed assignment my lecturer might be satisfied cuz i was super careful n neat while drawing n touching my art work...lolx...but unfortunately i 4gt my another file wich contained my sketchbook n attendance paper n assignment brief...ouch...so careless ><
well luckily he 4gave me n asked me 2 pass up my sketches nx monday...but still itz nt over yt..i still hv additional tasks...i even had frenz who r even worse...3rd time of redo...omg...but seriously their drawing seems like children's art work...nt mature n professional enuf...i kinda knew y d lecturer asked dem 2 redo it bk again...
after english cls...i tot i cud go bk n hv a gud rest but ish...itz raining heavily n i had 2 waot 4 d college bus 4 omos an hour...sucked ><
my leges were all cramp n my shoes were all damp n wet..itz like whenever i step on any tile or floor, trails of wet footsteps cud b seen clearly as if i've jz gone for a swim or something...eek ><
luckily i got on a bus wich wasnt rili full but still it luks packed 2 me..arrived home n yeah i luk like a wet kitten...soaked ==
enjoyed ice cream...recently im seriously addicted 2 ice cream especially chocolate flavour...however i dun rili wan a choc bar dat badly...but a tube or a stick of choc ice cream may definitely fish me easy... =3
im lovin' it...lolx
been slping rili late lately...i hpe i wont b a panda soon...but luckily i didnt hv eye bags underneath my precious eyes @@
gawd...itz late...im goin 2 pavilion 2mr...hope 2 c something special...will report in 2mr XD wee ~
nitez.... =3

Diz is ridiculous ==

this sucks... ==
i spend d whole nite completing my assignments...
drawing n becoming crazy...
itz 4am n im stil drawing..my frenz all started scolding me a maniac ==
ouch ><
i thought once im done wit my drawing i cud hv a gud nite rest...
sigh of relief?not gonna happen..
wen I accidently spilled ink leaving a blotch on my precious drawing T.T
i was dumbfounded...i tried cleaning d blotch wit tissues or watsoever...
ntg worked...eventually i cried...
tears prickled my eyes like hell...my eyes were all swollen n red..
i knew i had 2 redo another...itz due d nx morning at 8am...wat other choice do i hv?
so i cried n sobbed while redrawing it all over again..sad o T.T
6am...i finished it..relief n all dat...i thought i cud rest but cls at 8am..i nd 2 rush...bath, get ready my art materials n stuffs n all dat...get changed n rush 2 skul..
luckily d college bus arrived jz on time wen i reached d bus stop..haix
arrived in skul..had no mood 4 breakfast n straight away headed 2 class which is like SO FAR!! T.T morning exercise? im already exhausted like hell n i hv 2 walk a mountain..legs all cramp n tired plus sleepy..im so in a bad mood..
ungh ><.. i tot i was rili early but luckily i saw jackson..guess he was d 1st 2 arrive wit a choc milk in his hands ( his favourite drink ) ==
wen d lecturer arrived..i thought hell wud be over...not ==
omos half of our cls did last minute work n drew their drawings as if diz was sme kind of a play or something...dey werent serious at all == i was furious ><
in d end...d lecturer kp giving comments n insults...i knw he was in a bad mood n i knw he did dat on d purpose...if i were him i wud do d same thng either..n he said 1 thing...
REDO...REDO?!?!?! >< @@ T.T
NO!!! dat aws like all my effort n he wants all of us 2 redo...he didnt care whether wo're done it or nt he jz wan us all 2 redo it...omg! i omos fainted..suck!
luckily he wanted it nx monday...cuz i hv other assignments wich needs 2 b completed by diz week..devastated n all..haix...outta words... ==
once i cme bk home..i felt so tired..i feel like jumping on my bed n enter slumber world..but once i surf d net on my laptop..halfway typing...i dozed off..too tired...i force myself 2 d bed n slept,,,slept a few hours n woke up again ==
tired..body ache..headache..haix.. ==
hope 2mr might b better...ish ==

decieved? white lies?

whoa there...hold ur horses...

wat in d world is happening here?

y r dey 2 sides of a story?

u said she wanted u bk n all dat..desperately misses u like hell n oways chatted wit u wen i havent got d time 2 caht wit u...

while her side of story..she said u wanted her bk..said she's d oni 1 who cared 4 u d most n understnd u d most..

wat is goin on here?

r u trying 2 lie 2 me?

'i like d way u sweet talk wit although i knw is fake'...i saw her writing diz n izit true?means i was rite?u were lying 2 me all diz while??

wat m i 2 u?

an asshole?a doormat?a stupid cat?

i felt deceived by ur words..makes me luk more like an idiot..no wonder everyime wen i ask u quesions...all of ur answers were all illogic..weird answers n r repeated..itz like u duno hw 2 answer me but covering urself at d same time...

dat is d reason y i cudnt cooperate wit ur diz behaviour no longer anymore..everytime i wanted 2 focus on my assignments which costs my life..u wud start bombing my phone as if it has no battery life or watsoever...annoyed n irritated..i feel like throwing my phone away...but i didnt

i didnt knw hw 2 convince u 2 go bk wit her...u werent supposed 2 wait 4 me...cuz i realized d person dat suits u most is her..she misses u more n cares 4 u more...unlike me...i didnt care n answered ur phone...makes u even worse cuz i didnt care 4 u a bit...oni focusing on my assignments as if im hving a relationship wit college..

i tot u wud understand...but i den realized itz oni 4 d time being..

short period...u wud pop up d questions all over again...as if d words jz sprew out of ur other ear...sweat ==

in d end i knew i had no choice but 2 use force...after reading her blog n ur wall n d help of her...i knew dat force is best way...

she needs u...n dun lie...i knw u stil wan her..it shows dat u both hv fate...my fate will soon b in KL..i will nt go bk der..unless im done wit college...dat will b 3 yrs frm nw...it will b long

but time past fast..i guess 3 years wud seem like 3 months..hahax...very funny...college in advanced?dat wud b an advantage...who wudnt wan 2 waste their time?

spending most of my time drawing like a mad girl n sipping green tea while logging on 2 facebook...diz will b my daily routine..n i bet i'll get used 2 it..i dun nd a guy 2 depend on..i wana b independent..achieve my goals on my own..face the challenges...n hv peace..

although yeah itz a hectic life here...but i chose diz path so i hv 2 bear wit d truth n adapt it..a wet blanket is definitely a bad option..so i jz go wit d flow..best option...

god bless me in everything

i've been reading astrologies n birth signs, n numerologies n card readings n watever reading it is..all of dem said dat diz yr wud b a yr of my luck..n d yr wer i will meet my prince in white horse...huh? O.o

whoa...sounds cool..but im nt gonna belive in d prince thingy except 4 d yr luck..prince?hw lucky cn dat b?

not interestrd in d moment...but if der rili is goin 2 b 1 appearing rite after me..i might wanna c how dat ends..gud or bad?ders stil a free movie 2 watch..laughs*

wink*