weird week? ==

mmmm..
sori didnt write for diz few days...
but kinda happy...after all diz few days have passed..
kinda nice...a lil sweet?
lolx...(face red) eek >< i duno hw 2 express dat...hahax passed up my assignments n was relieved...thk god...n i got "A's" >w< wee~ celebrated wit my frenz n was rili satisfied wit my work...hahax lucky d lecturer liked my idea...sigh stil remembered d mcd part...so sweet...winston, ah loon n zack n I went 2 mcd 4 supper...lolx i wasnt hungry so i jz ate d apple pie while 3 of dem grabbed d GCB... (golden ci bai?) omg...bad word hahax XDDD i saw d happy meal toy...nt exactly a toy but a plushy..so cute n itz a sugarbunny...i wanted 2 take d happy meal but i was scared i couldnt finish it so i took d apple pie instead...suddenly @@ zack said he wasnt full n he went over 2 d counter...i tot he ordered something else but wen he came bk...happy meal @@ omg he gave me d sugarbunny...n i was eyeing d white one n he got d white one i was like eeeeekkkk >w< i was like over d moon XD so sweet...n dat damn winston n ah loon kp eyeing both of us n kp tou tou xiao == yea...smart la u guys == lolx n at D'mamak...winston n ah loon! y u guys kp teasing me?? T.T huhu...eeeyer...so paiseh la...oways sengaja make my face red2 de >< eeekkk... but...d feeling is nt strong yet...nt rili der yet...lolx...wat cn i say? im gonna move soon...currently at d 3rd floor gonna move 2 d 8th floor lolx...i wonder hw im gonna move my stuff == hope d guys cud lend a hand...den ltr blanja makan XD wakaka... but paiseh la if i ask dem... >< mm...diz few days rili like ghost la...slp so late...i mean soooooo early...hahax... XD if u get wat i meant... n haix...stupid guys...kp calling n kp smsing me...as if im 7-eleven or something n kp asking me fei hua n stupid nonsense == ish if u got other motif dun come luk 4 again...if u wanna tell me something tell properly la...u dun go fili fala der cn o nt?make me headache weh == so noisy...n childish...eeee ><>
(run away) >

silence is gold?

im nt sure if it's a gud idea 2 tell it out here...
i knw he doesnt read my blog...jz a guess but datz wat i assume so i guess im gonna write it all here...
but izit a gud choice? i duno...i've been feeling rili weird diz few dayz...not jz my mood but feelingz...
im nt sure...i havent told any1 yet...nt a single soul...i knw some ppl might think itz some1 close 2 me or perhaps my past...but maybe both of it might not b it...
i duno hw 2 express it...all i knw is whenever im alone or walking alone or doin watever alone...i will start thinking bout it...
i've oways asked myself whether it might happen or nt?
will it EVER happen?
i hate diz feeling...i duno y i hate being left alone diz few days...i duno y all of a sudden diz happened...
sometimes my eyes wud jz prick a tear or wud day dream all of a sudden...
i knew diz isnt deppression...i had dat once n it didnt felt like diz...but diz was different...
i assume most of d ppl reading diz wud nt understand wat im trying 2 say...becuz i havent told any1 about diz...
hw long cn i smile like diz? hw long will it take 2 get bk? hw long? n y?
i've oways wished 4 a respond from you...but...nt even a reply...im not even sure whether i might get 2 share so much n meet u again...i decided 2 leave d circle...i wasnt meant 2 b in it...i wasnt supposed 2 b....im nt part of it...im d oddest...yeah i am...
i had diz feeling dat... dat it wud nt happen...wat i've dreamt...n wat i've imagines...silly me...itz jz an imagination n im already thinking dat way...psycho ==
maybe....maybe i shud jz stay silent...do my own stuff...no no no nt mourning..itz jz...jz trying 2 make myself 2 4get diz feelings....
becuz...
i've fallen...
i fell...
n itz hard 2 describe diz heart beating stuff...
im sori i was weird...n day by day...sigh...
i was a nuisance i was a pain i was a chatterbox...i talked too much...y cnt i jz zip it...omg
i've ruined myself...
i was right...i shouldnt tell...i've made diz mistake before...n i thought being honest wud hv itz positive effects...not...it turned out way bad...freaked out...
1st mistake...nvr a 2nd...i dun wan dat 2 happen again...
i vow nvr 2 tell...unless...if u ask...only u...i wont answer any1 except u...but...it all depends...2nd mistake...how long will dat occur?
n wen will be it?
hw i wish i cud jz predict d future...so i'd knw wat might happen...but life wudnt b fair like dat...i knw god hv his own way of leading our lives...
im trying 2 believe it...trying 2 smile...trying 2 stop diz tearz..
n i hope...dat 1 day u will b d 1 who will catch diz tearz of mine...b der 2 be my warmth n shelter...n 2 b d apple of my eye...
d 1 n only...
no 1 will understand n no 1 cud guess...if u happen 2 read diz...i dun think u might itz u...i dun think u might know wat im trying 2 tell...like i said im weird...stupid...a pin in d neck...a nuisance...a freak...
i jz wish i cud tell u diz...but i cnt...ur expressions...u oways dun luk happy 2 c me around...u're oways busy...n u sound annoyed...
i duno y...i jz hv diz feeling but im nt sure if itz true cuz i've oways had diz 6th sense n im oways asking myslf whther i shud trust it o nt...
no wonder silence is gold....
n i will kp 2 dat...
vowed...
im out ~

misunderstandingz.... ==

eek... ><
managed 2 complete most of my assignments in time...wohoo..gud job miyuki...
sienz everyday stay at home...rili sienz...2bad im d more outgoing type of person...rather hang out with my frenz...but nt 2 doz hen lan d places la...even chit chatting or mamaking is more den enuf XD i love spending time wit frenz...
mayb i shud cut down on supper...roti telur ==
soon im gonna gain weight...n by dat time nobody wud wan me...wakaka...
dat wud b a disaster T.T werz my prince? traffic jam belum sampai ah?lolx...weirdo ==
winston n clarence used 2 kp reviving d topics about zavk ==
omg...wat is going on around here ==
n nw itz alferh's turn...adui...winston oh winston...y u go brainwash alferh ah? ><
haix...i truly dun understand y diz is happening...i cnt even feel dat he has feelings 2wards me o nt...n dat wud nvr happen 4 god sake...y r u guys oways imagining things d other way round...if he shows interest den mayb itz diff la...but he didnt lor...so dun kp talking bout it...makes me feel weird n YEAH i dun believe it even if u guys kp saying it...i'd oni believe it if he said it frm his own mouth...n dat will link to 1 word = IMPOSSIBLE ==
u guys r driving me crazy... ==
do nt talk d impossible... XD whoa sounds like mission impossible... ==
i hope he doesnt read diz...oopz...cuz i assume dat he wud nvr wanna read my blog...wat a guess ==
diz is lame ==
childish la...ish...stop reviving d topics...diam2 ubi fan shu...n jz do ur assignments...guai guai good...
== haix lolx...
disaster weh if he knew u guys kp reviving such topics...weird2 de ==
apa punya bro == ( eek >< )
looking 4 glass bottle 4 my bottle design...diz is gonna b hard...free hand drawing in d glass bottle...if itz printing it might luk neater but free hand drawing especially acrylic on glass is nt a good option...messy n static...but datz wat d teacher wants T.T
y must it b part of d rules...ish ==
omg...hv been slping rili late...becoming a nite ghost soon...cnt believe it...slept rili late n stil cn wake up early in d morn...no wonder diz few days i've been feeling a lil cranky n wires r a lil out of order...kinda electrocuted ==
geesh...omg...stop asking me ><>
stop calling me n smsing me ><
stop alarming me n talking endless nonsense 2 me...itz nt dat i dun wanna hear...u're losing 2 much of my time == i'd rather work out on my assignments n hang out wit my frenz den listening 2 all ur lame excuses bout diz n dat...i didnt even ask n u're already talking 2 urself all d way down d lane...i cnt believe im still facing lectures in entertainment world...argh...u're spoiling it ><
i jz wanna hv fun but appreciate life at d same time... >w<
wee~

same as usual.....==

finished a few assignments...but more wud pop out...i hv no idea wen i wud meet d fullstop ==
drawing is my passion...but too much of it wud seriously drive me mad..especially wen it comes to brainstorming...
hv been hanging out at winston's place lately..with zavk n ah lun...enjoyed watching dem completing their assignments...somehow i find it rather fun n peaceful hanging out der rather den staying at home n facing d same old thing...if u get wat i mean ==
haix...weekend was nvr fun..so i didnt actually bear dat in mind...was oways hoping 4 better...
monday nite i had a long chat wit zavk...it cured my boredomness n at d same time i somehow get 2 knw more bout him...it was fun...like a storybook or something...we shared a lot...didnt expected dat...
winston n ah lun were funny wen dey played snooker...i was like sitting behind wit zavk..we both chatted while dey both played n it was damn funny...their butts kp facing me wen dey wanted 2 aim 4 d balls...i was like sweat ==|||...
diz few days, hv been up till d early morn...panda + cat = ??? ==
pandat?pancat? == lolx
haix...wil b facing my midterm test diz thursday...hope 4 d best...
dry media assignments r also due on thursday...friday's d worst...final artwork 4 pepsi...eek...havent finalised my design yet...derz jz too much 2 choose..nt sure wich 2 finalised...eekk...
hope my drawings cud atleast fascinate d lecturer ..even a bit might lighten me up...i dun wanna c d sour look on his face...especially after he saw drawings dat were drawn by my mates..he luks pissed all d time wnever its their turn...so reminding myself 2 b oways 1st 2nd or 3rd in line...nvr in between or behind...dun wanna b d last 2 cry T.T
lolx...God Bless Me!!... >w

will diz life be changed?

've oways thought of having a better life...but perhaps nt at diz time...n i realized i've actually gotten used 2 my bz and hectic life...some of my frenz still couldnt cope..maybe time might heal dem..
cls was ok...but funny incidents did happen diz 2day..during lecture...my frenz n i kept laughing over diz "goldfish" guy who suddenly came 2 hug us jz 2 get in2 d picture...awkward but it did freaked my fren out...she was seriously terrified n her expressions did make me laugh till my face went all red like a tomato XD
wen i went bk after cls...i hungout arnd winston's n zavk's plce...started drawing my sketches but was lost of ideas wen i drew halfway...mind blocked..==
i was at their balcony n it started 2 drizzle..something popped up in my mind again...i started 2 grew quiet all of a suddent...was thinking of something but wen i try 2 ask myself wat was i thinking? diz thoughts kinda jz disappear like dat..diz has been happening eversince i came 2 KL..memories?past?wen will my mind get over it...especially during rainy days...
my frenz told me dat i might need some1 2 talk to...lonesome is wat dey usualy describe me behind doz laughter n happy face.."how did u manage to cover all dat?" == ...i seriously duno hw 2 answer dem...i dun wan other ppl 2 get d wrong idea...n i dun wan 2 make any1 worried...it makes me feel guilty at d same time..i dun wan dem 2 think dat i "minta kesian"...dats nt wat i wan...i wanted life 2 b normal...i hate ppl thinking like dat..think d wrong n negative way..
zavk had a long chat wit me at d balcony...it was kinda of a nice chat..shared alot though...
had supper ltr wit ah lun, winston & zavk...ah klun n winston wanted 2 play snooker but it was full so d plan was kinda out of line...so we went bk 2 melati...dey played pool n it was kinda humourous...competing against each other..hahax...
went bk n tried 2 slp but i cnt so i started fb-ing n msn-ing 2 pass my time...updating my blog...haix...i feel like wanna breath some fresh air...get out n hv some fun instead of staying at home all day like im trapped in jail doin my assignments all day long...seriously it sux...although i like drawing...but i cnt brainstorm wen im nt out.. i wish i cud c more things around my place here...
i wish i cud learn more...itz nice 2 hv frenz like winston n zavk...unfortunately clarence found a job n moved out dy..kinda sad..T.T
4 ppl had commented bout my thoughts dy...nt a typical 18 yr old...i sound mre older den dat... == omg...especially 2 doz who had lotsa heart 2 heart talk wit me...eek ><
i dun wanna sound old...i dun wanna b ah po ==
diffrnt ppl hv diffrnt points of view n comments..was dat n insult or a complimet? T.T ouch...lolx