robotic...==

life has oways been busy like this...

kinda got used to it...no fair...my frenz get to go out n gai2...eek...i wanna join...but den my assignments wont let me T.T

completed a few assignments early...wee~

wpnt hv 2 worry dat much ltr...sketching 4 dry media wine glass & designing pepsi...

lolx...im outta ideas...all comments will be like "i want something special"...

we did lotsa research but stil he's nt satsfied...hmm ==

jia you....

laz nite whole day at fud court...doin assignments n guessed wat...it rained...scary T.T

ltr at nite hang out at my frenz hse...did resume der voila...cnt believe i did dat in an hour time...wakaka...

felt hungry n went 4 supper at genting kelang...zavk drove us anyway...kelian he told me dat "when he's a driver, will oways b a driver" lolx ==

pity him...i cn imagine hw much he needed 2 spend 4 his petrol...it must hv hurt his wallet...dey were seriously super duper nice 2 me...chatted a lot n yeah i liked d atmosphere but i feel weird cuz i wasnt suppose 2 b wit their cycle...

winston designed a packaging for an instant noodle i guess..

dey were rili nice to me but den i feel like im a lightbulb or kelefeh or some sort...

eek...i rather mine my own stuff...shouldnt b such a troublemaker...

...............==

meow?

relaxing in the midst of busying?

Its week 6th in college n derz odi 8 assignments 2 b completed by nx week..
stress like hell..
i nd 2 pass up 5 of dem by diz wk n 3 by nx week...
itz like it has become part of my life routine of non-stop assignments...
besides, i think itz better den memorizing all doz thick bukz n calculation...i was nvr interested in academical subjects but was forced 2 so yeah i dun hv 2 suffer dat in college...thnk god...hahax
recently a fren of mine named melvin contacted me...he had diz crisi wit his gf...n his gf had another bf...he couldnt accept d fact dat his gf dumped him over another guy but i told him 2 b strong n no matter wat life must go on...
he still acted stubborn...i shook my head...i wonder wat wud happen ltr...i was jz worried bout him as a fren n he mistaken i fell 4 him...omg...sweat ==
he ask me 2 gv him time n all dat but im nt interested...2 me he's stil nt matured enuf 4 me n i dun think he even understnds me..
i ussualy like guys who understands me well n has a thinks maturely even in critical situations...it drives me nuts if a person happen 2 wanna commit suicide or do something crazy or wailed or watever in front of me...i'll feel awkward...nt my cup of tea...
haix...
seriously i dun wanna get involved wit him...he seems annoying n yeah i've oways wanted peace...weekend sucked...assignments whole day...well except for saturday...i went 2 carrefour 2 get some stuff n did a lil of walking...kinda entertaining...atleast itz better den ntg...i dun expect much...
monday...every1 hates diz day of d week...i though after i passed my redo-ed assignment my lecturer might be satisfied cuz i was super careful n neat while drawing n touching my art work...lolx...but unfortunately i 4gt my another file wich contained my sketchbook n attendance paper n assignment brief...ouch...so careless ><
well luckily he 4gave me n asked me 2 pass up my sketches nx monday...but still itz nt over yt..i still hv additional tasks...i even had frenz who r even worse...3rd time of redo...omg...but seriously their drawing seems like children's art work...nt mature n professional enuf...i kinda knew y d lecturer asked dem 2 redo it bk again...
after english cls...i tot i cud go bk n hv a gud rest but ish...itz raining heavily n i had 2 waot 4 d college bus 4 omos an hour...sucked ><
my leges were all cramp n my shoes were all damp n wet..itz like whenever i step on any tile or floor, trails of wet footsteps cud b seen clearly as if i've jz gone for a swim or something...eek ><
luckily i got on a bus wich wasnt rili full but still it luks packed 2 me..arrived home n yeah i luk like a wet kitten...soaked ==
enjoyed ice cream...recently im seriously addicted 2 ice cream especially chocolate flavour...however i dun rili wan a choc bar dat badly...but a tube or a stick of choc ice cream may definitely fish me easy... =3
im lovin' it...lolx
been slping rili late lately...i hpe i wont b a panda soon...but luckily i didnt hv eye bags underneath my precious eyes @@
gawd...itz late...im goin 2 pavilion 2mr...hope 2 c something special...will report in 2mr XD wee ~
nitez.... =3

Diz is ridiculous ==

this sucks... ==
i spend d whole nite completing my assignments...
drawing n becoming crazy...
itz 4am n im stil drawing..my frenz all started scolding me a maniac ==
ouch ><
i thought once im done wit my drawing i cud hv a gud nite rest...
sigh of relief?not gonna happen..
wen I accidently spilled ink leaving a blotch on my precious drawing T.T
i was dumbfounded...i tried cleaning d blotch wit tissues or watsoever...
ntg worked...eventually i cried...
tears prickled my eyes like hell...my eyes were all swollen n red..
i knew i had 2 redo another...itz due d nx morning at 8am...wat other choice do i hv?
so i cried n sobbed while redrawing it all over again..sad o T.T
6am...i finished it..relief n all dat...i thought i cud rest but cls at 8am..i nd 2 rush...bath, get ready my art materials n stuffs n all dat...get changed n rush 2 skul..
luckily d college bus arrived jz on time wen i reached d bus stop..haix
arrived in skul..had no mood 4 breakfast n straight away headed 2 class which is like SO FAR!! T.T morning exercise? im already exhausted like hell n i hv 2 walk a mountain..legs all cramp n tired plus sleepy..im so in a bad mood..
ungh ><.. i tot i was rili early but luckily i saw jackson..guess he was d 1st 2 arrive wit a choc milk in his hands ( his favourite drink ) ==
wen d lecturer arrived..i thought hell wud be over...not ==
omos half of our cls did last minute work n drew their drawings as if diz was sme kind of a play or something...dey werent serious at all == i was furious ><
in d end...d lecturer kp giving comments n insults...i knw he was in a bad mood n i knw he did dat on d purpose...if i were him i wud do d same thng either..n he said 1 thing...
REDO...REDO?!?!?! >< @@ T.T
NO!!! dat aws like all my effort n he wants all of us 2 redo...he didnt care whether wo're done it or nt he jz wan us all 2 redo it...omg! i omos fainted..suck!
luckily he wanted it nx monday...cuz i hv other assignments wich needs 2 b completed by diz week..devastated n all..haix...outta words... ==
once i cme bk home..i felt so tired..i feel like jumping on my bed n enter slumber world..but once i surf d net on my laptop..halfway typing...i dozed off..too tired...i force myself 2 d bed n slept,,,slept a few hours n woke up again ==
tired..body ache..headache..haix.. ==
hope 2mr might b better...ish ==

decieved? white lies?

whoa there...hold ur horses...

wat in d world is happening here?

y r dey 2 sides of a story?

u said she wanted u bk n all dat..desperately misses u like hell n oways chatted wit u wen i havent got d time 2 caht wit u...

while her side of story..she said u wanted her bk..said she's d oni 1 who cared 4 u d most n understnd u d most..

wat is goin on here?

r u trying 2 lie 2 me?

'i like d way u sweet talk wit although i knw is fake'...i saw her writing diz n izit true?means i was rite?u were lying 2 me all diz while??

wat m i 2 u?

an asshole?a doormat?a stupid cat?

i felt deceived by ur words..makes me luk more like an idiot..no wonder everyime wen i ask u quesions...all of ur answers were all illogic..weird answers n r repeated..itz like u duno hw 2 answer me but covering urself at d same time...

dat is d reason y i cudnt cooperate wit ur diz behaviour no longer anymore..everytime i wanted 2 focus on my assignments which costs my life..u wud start bombing my phone as if it has no battery life or watsoever...annoyed n irritated..i feel like throwing my phone away...but i didnt

i didnt knw hw 2 convince u 2 go bk wit her...u werent supposed 2 wait 4 me...cuz i realized d person dat suits u most is her..she misses u more n cares 4 u more...unlike me...i didnt care n answered ur phone...makes u even worse cuz i didnt care 4 u a bit...oni focusing on my assignments as if im hving a relationship wit college..

i tot u wud understand...but i den realized itz oni 4 d time being..

short period...u wud pop up d questions all over again...as if d words jz sprew out of ur other ear...sweat ==

in d end i knew i had no choice but 2 use force...after reading her blog n ur wall n d help of her...i knew dat force is best way...

she needs u...n dun lie...i knw u stil wan her..it shows dat u both hv fate...my fate will soon b in KL..i will nt go bk der..unless im done wit college...dat will b 3 yrs frm nw...it will b long

but time past fast..i guess 3 years wud seem like 3 months..hahax...very funny...college in advanced?dat wud b an advantage...who wudnt wan 2 waste their time?

spending most of my time drawing like a mad girl n sipping green tea while logging on 2 facebook...diz will b my daily routine..n i bet i'll get used 2 it..i dun nd a guy 2 depend on..i wana b independent..achieve my goals on my own..face the challenges...n hv peace..

although yeah itz a hectic life here...but i chose diz path so i hv 2 bear wit d truth n adapt it..a wet blanket is definitely a bad option..so i jz go wit d flow..best option...

god bless me in everything

i've been reading astrologies n birth signs, n numerologies n card readings n watever reading it is..all of dem said dat diz yr wud b a yr of my luck..n d yr wer i will meet my prince in white horse...huh? O.o

whoa...sounds cool..but im nt gonna belive in d prince thingy except 4 d yr luck..prince?hw lucky cn dat b?

not interestrd in d moment...but if der rili is goin 2 b 1 appearing rite after me..i might wanna c how dat ends..gud or bad?ders stil a free movie 2 watch..laughs*

wink*

Expectations out of view...

Life....

it wasn't dat simple after all...but still i tried handling it with lotsa care...i dun wanna waste my life like trash...i wanna take diz opportunity 2 appreciate my new life here..

i've seen a lot diz few days...well maybe jz 2 much....

skul started but it seems like everything went on so fast i didnt expected it 2 b dat fast...faster den d speed of light huh?

assignments r starting 2 bundle up into a mountain form n nw im hving diz headache, finding a solution 2 finish dem all in time...drawings n readings n notes-studying n presentation...i wonder wen will all dat end?

driving me nutz wud b d perfect word...didnt expect college 2 b stress...but still life is extremely diffrent diz way...

my bro asked me 2 move out...ouch

after he broke up with 'her'...he wailed...i got shocked...burst in2 tears n all dat...i seriously didnt want 2 c him dat way...n shockingly he told me 2 get off his sight wit an arrogant voice...i was hurt wit his words but i assumed his emotions werent dat stable yet so i cooled down...it was scary...n yeah i wasa scared at dat time...i didnt wan anything bad 2 happen 2 him...d nx day i went 2 skul...i knew he wudnt wanna fetch me...he's jz too extremely tired frm all doz crying...so i went 2 skul myself...luckily i learnt how 2 get on d college bus odi...kinda ez though...

halfway during lecture...my bro smsed me...'can u move out frm my room?'...dumbfounded...wat was dat suppoed 2 mean?

1st u told me dat u're gonna take care of me n wud guide me...wud treat me like real sis n diz is hw u treat me in d end?i duno who 2 blame...i blamed myslef instead...mayb i was too much of a burden 2 him...so i jz replied ok...i didnt knw wer 2 go...but luckily i found a place 2 stay in d end...temporarily i guess...

he didnt tell d reasons y he asked me 2 move out...no nothing...not even a single word...frm dat day onwards...i cudnt trust him anymore...well not dat much...his words...i wonder if i cn believe dem...after a few days of leaving his hse im ok wit it...mayb cuz i cn easily adapt in new environments...so i had no problems...

but 1 thing disapoint me really bad...i saw links in facebook...all about diz defamation n bad comments bout my bro...right in TARC page in photos...i was like damn shocked...i knew he was a playboy but i didnt expect his name 2 b dat rili KOTOR...i was rili disapointed wit his actions...wat he had done in d past...n i realized he didnt changed a bit...he said all his ex had problems n wudnt negotiate wit him...but i realized d real problem is him...not them...dey were all innocent...n he was d 1 actually addicted 2 'dat'..i knew wat happened cuz i was staying at his place but i didnt mind actually...i didnt care...cuz it wasnt my business...

but wen i saw those links n read those blogs n forum i was like dumbfounded...i didnt expect him 2 do those..he looked so nice n gud boy n all dat n suddenly doz links jz pop out like dat in front of me...wen i read dem..i was in deep shock...in my mind i was like no way diz cn b my bro...wen i read d blogs properly...it was rili him...his name stated der so clearly wit his car plate number n his address..it was definitely my bro...itz him all d while...omg...i duno y he wud do such a thing...he ever told me once bout his life story...bout a gal who got all crazy bout him n desperately wanted him...but d blog...itz like telling d same story but d other way round...d blog said he drugged her drink n took her virginity away n juz left her bleeding wit rashes...omg...i was shocked...was he really dat cruel?or shud i say inhumane?

OMG!!!

i cnt believe all diz...n im like facing him everyday of my life...studio n all dat...huh...nw i knw y many ppl hated him n his attitude...some girls might knw d real facts of him n wodnt fall 4 him odi...but stil der r stil many innocent gals out der pounded by him i guess...all of dem...innocent...n dey didnt knw wat was his history n wat he's gonna do...sweet talk? flirt?

he ever did dat all 2 me...but luckily i wasnt flattered cuz he wasnt my type n he knew im really choosy in guys...luckily i didnt fell in2 his trap...

thank god...

ps: 2 all gals...plz find ur rights n guys plz respect d ppl around u especially gals...TQ

good girl gone bad?

mmm...
eversince i came 2 KL i started sleeping rili late weh...
lama2 cn b nite gui liao...hahax
my bro's grand opening was a success but stil ders a few part he's not satisfied..but it wasnt dat obvious la...
i was suppose 2 perform but eventually i got a sorethroat so i cnt sing 2 high pitch...
n yeah wen d ceremony ended...contiue 2nd round drink with comittee memberz...until 3am+...geng...den go play pool until 4.30am..walaoneh...damn tired but had fun la
2day my bo organized a BBQ at his studio specially for comitttee memberz...
siu kai yit...xixi
n lotsa beers...i wanted d shiraz merlot but finish odi...i prefer red wine den beer...much smoother n milder...lolx...
1 of dem got drunk n vomited ><
i kinda got drunk 2 but rested awhile n recovered..."yamcha" until 5am+ weh...d time wer every1 got up 2 go jogging...hahax
after dat kemas2 n went home...but stil cnt slp...mayb i rested 2 much jz nw..n nw my bro slping like pig odi..hahax...itz obvious dat he's tired...luckily 2mr no cls...cn wake up a lil late....xixi...
2mr gotta clean up da studio n help out at studio...haix...tired la...but hv 2..sigh
kelian my bro 2....
haix
gotta go oioi ler..nitez..2mr nd 2 pump up energy T.T

My New Life...

I knew my life would change tremendously as soon as i step in KL...

i left my part time job n decided 2 further my studies in KL TARCollege....

taking graphic design n thnk god i managed 2 get a scholarship so it wont be 2 much of a burden 2 me....

temporarily staying at my bro eric's hse...

things changed so fast n i've seen quite a few scenes dat r hard 2 b described....

d 1st time i visited my bro's studio i was like wow...cool...

n frm dat day onwards i started helping my bro...whatever dat needs 2 b done at d studio...

i dun mind helping out...he's been taking rili gud care of me...i felt guilty...so nice 2 hv him...like a father taking care of a daughter...hahax

mm...a few days past n skul started...

holy u will nvr imagine hw boring it is...i almost slept at mass call orientation day...2nd day was even worse...i kp listening 2 their announcements n rules until i rili did fell aslp...but luckily d lecturer didnt notice...or perhaps no one noticed...hahax

3rd day was society day...d day wer i've gotta choose my academic n non-academic groups...i wanted 2 join d music n choir society...eric said music wont b a regret...so i registered 4 it...he even asked me 2 try out 4 d SWC related 2 student welfare...well i didnt expect dem 2 hv an interview...but luckily it wont b 2day...probably another day or something..hahax

i didnt dare 2 enter 2 much..im afraid dat my schedle might b packed..i'd rather help out at da studio..

it is like day by day i cn c lots of my bro's secrets...

his life, career n most shocking r his past relationships....

hoho...sounds kinda like a playboy but im not sure if he is o nt...i admit i stil dun quite understand him as well as his ex...

itz like his life is full of girls...facebook n reality...holy...fans n admirers...u cn even name dem...eventhough im nt him oso i pening owh...lolx...

but u cn c dat he focuses more on his studio n career den d girls...u cn c dat he cn even ignore dem...

talented n funny bro...he made a gud choice of focusing on his career 1st in his mindset...wen he's stable wit his career ody den he'll think bout da relationships..

gud luck bro...ders jz 2 many fishes out der...bless eu dat u will find a responsible n loyal gf dat has no problem in communication wit eu... =3

as 4 me...no comment...i guess skul is 1st....if i do well in skul...career is not a problem...wat i nd nw is jz time...time is precious...i wonder wat wil happen if assignments r starting 2 rade our minds till dey get all blocked up or something...

sigh...

may all blessings b wit eu al.... =3

confusion..

Time past so fast....

itz nearly d month of May...

im working part time at upperstar a western restaurant...im at d morning shift but sometimes it feels like im working d morning nite shift..everytime i got bk frm work..my whole body ached..tired but worth d experience =3

many things happened diz few days...

i met bk wit andrew n he introduced me 2 a fren name stanley...

we hang out like omos everyday eversince den...

well andrew didnt changed much in his character but changed alot physically..hahax..

a few weeks ltr...stanley told me he likes me..gasp

dat was cute of him but at dat time i wasnt ready 2 b in a realtionship...

he was super nice n i cn c dat he's rili loyal n all dat...he's kinda cute in a way..but still my heart is still under a heartbroken condition...

eversince my ex came bk everything omos changed...at 1st he told me hates me n wanted a break...but nw..i dun get it...my ex told me he wanted a rekindle n regretted wat he said b4...i was in deep shock though..i didnt expext dat respond...but i didnt put dat in mind...

it made me even more confuse of our status...i realize i didnt wanna hurt myself badly again so i reconfirm our relationship status 2 jz stay as bestfrenz...he kept silent but still calls me dear...i assume he got used 2 calling me dat...but still he tells me dat he still misses me...

i cnt do anything...i cnt hate...all i cn do is jz treat him as a fren who needs company...but i rather hang out wit stanley...he's much more of a calm n steady person...he's not doz type who throws tantrum..

im not sure wat i did...all i knw is dat everytime stanley asked me 4 a chance itz oways not d rite time...i rejected him..n yeah i knw it hurts him...2 tell d truth i do kinda like him...nvr a guy ever treated me dat nice n humble b4...i realized im not perfect enuf 4 him...im scared dat i might hurt him 1 day cuz he's jz 2 nice...n im like d opposite of him...although he denies it...but still i feel guilty...im jz not ready....i actually thought he cud wait till my heart heals...but 2 late he found someone dat he loves already...

i was shock at 1st n confused...cuz i still rmb dat he said he wanna wait..he's nw with clover...he told he had a choice of either 2 b with me or clover when he wanted 2 ask a chance frm me..after i rejected him he told me he started with clover...hell yeah i was shocked..

lukz like i dun nd 2 wait anymore..it shows dat we both hv no fate since he chose dat path of being with her...it was rili sweet 2 c dem both 2gather =3 like 2 birds pirching on a tree chirping all day long...i wonder when will dat b my turn? i wonder if i might find my mr right? i hope destiny cud lead diz path of mine...i wish everything wud turned out fine...although im stil under confusion but i guessed working might stop me from thinking 2 much..

sigh..

A memory to remember..

I still remember the days wer we oways hang out on d bench at a playground near our apartments..dat is d time wer we oways share our pasts...our stories...wat happened in our lives before we ended up 2gather...n oso our interests..
I still remember d 1st time we met at easy way..
wait dat wasnt d 1st time we met...
d 1st time we met was at blackrock..
we were oni tables away..
i oways c u around dat time...n i stil remember u ever told me dat u oways knew wich 1 was me...u knew i oways hang out there... i smiled =)
dat time i didnt knw dat u worked at easy way until i saw u wearing one of their uniforms..
i didnt know wich shift u were in until 1 day my frenz ask 2 have a drink at easy way..den at dat time i knew ur at d morning shift..
but so sad my frenz didnt turn up...so i drank my drinks all on my own =)
from that day onwards i fell in love with their milk pudding milk tea..n he knew i oways ordered dat =)
on dat day onwards we chat alot n became quite gud frenz..tru sms...tru chatz..n ended up 2gather..ahahax i also stil remember d part wer we wnt 2 cp n u rili rili wanted dat pair of shoes..n we bought some shoe laces to match up our shoes...but in d end u used up 2 two black metallic laces..while mine was in black n purple..
i still remember i will oways buy breakfast for u or buy snacks for u in case u get hungry...i still remember dat time i oways scared u get hungry...u cant imagine how skinny he is...mcm tulang =) hahax..but still i love him for d way he is...
and i will oways remember d nitez wer we hv our dinner 2gather at ur house after work..n how we oways play at d playstation..vs at naruto..sometimes i even help u 2 continue ur journey n we oways vs each other...ahahax...n u ah everynite oways wan milo or nescafe de..if not u cant sleep de...
but...
the most memorable day was d last day before i leave for my plkn... 2/1/2010 8pm onwards..
it was a sad day but happiest day of my life with him 2...
we spend our most valueable time at d bench at d park...holding hands..sitting right next to each other..we cant stop talking n chatting at dat time...ahahax...derz so much 2 express at dat time n i still remembered i almost cried..but i tahan..we havent got enough so we did something silly...we walk d whole beverly hills phase 2! from d front 2 d back n d back 2 d front...while holding hands.. =)
n we arrived back 2 da playground..we sat on d see saw 2gather...dat time u were smsing n i keep shaking u...hahahax..we continued walking n talking n on music on our handphones...it was a romantic nite...wen we luk at d time it was almost 12am..it was time 2 go back home...i still remember u teman me go back home n at d stairs u were hugging me so tightly wishing dat i wudnt go dat fast...but we had no choice..it was sad 2 let go off ur hands at dat time..wen i arrived home..i cried in my sleep..i still remember we were stil smsing on our hp..
u said 'god oways take away d person dat i love'...i replied u 'take it as a challenge'..u agreed..it was so hard 2 let go at dat time since i've been so close 2 u..but now everything has changed..i wonder is it me who has changed or is it u?
early d next morning...i quickly rush out 2 buy breakfast 4 u...ur favourite lo mai kai n a can of coca cola...i cant reach u so i put d fud in d letter box hoping dat u wud find it after i inform u tru sms...but by d time u woke up oredi n replied my sms...im odi in d car on d way 2 stadium likas...going 2 plkn soon...time past so fast at dat time...i was crying in my heart...i cant let my frenz n mum c me dat way...i dun wan 2 leave d person dat i love all diz while...but stil u ask me 2 b strong n face d challenges...so i wiped of d tears n went on with my journey...i decided 2 take it as a challenge 2..we both agreed...u stil sms me even im stil at d airport..n even wen i arrived...i was touched...u were so concerned of me at dat time...wen d teachers confiscated my hp...i called u using d public phone almost everynite..i missed u so mush at dat time...i missed ur smile n d moments wer we oways share so much 2gather...
but as time goes by...ur mood started 2 get moodier...sometimes u even told me dat u dun hv da mood 2 talk 2 me...i wonder y...i though mayb it was just ur mood swings...but it turned out worse...n wenever i got bk my hp...u hardly msg me odi..especially wen i got bk...u nvr cared bout me anymore..u never find me anymore...itz oways me who smses u 1st...itz like ur feelings 2wards me change odi...i keep asking myself wats going on? n i found d answer...u got closer 2 some1 else odi..her name is oso M..u kept commenting her photos n her status in fb..but when i sms u u said u r nw bz got things 2 do or watching tv...it is like u nvr wanted me part of ur life anymore...it is like i am a bug in ur life...i feel so hurt
until 1 day jared called me in d afternun n said diz few stuffz bout u n diz girl..i didnt knw dat all diz while jared was making up doz storied n i instantly believe wat he said..i got angry n i 4got dat i was under pms n we 3 got into a big fight n misunderstanding..
i still remember d msg dat u send 2 me dat u loved her more den me...dat eversince i went 2 plkn u nvr loved me anymore...i was so hurt at dat time...i feel like being used as a toy..2 just entertain u wenenver u r oni bored..i wonder y? y do u hv 2 treat me like diz? n u told me dat u hated me already...i knew dat would happen cuz i ruin u n dat gal...if u loved me u would never said dat...but diz odi proofs dat u nvr loved me...den wat am i?
i keep asking myself wat am i 2 u?....
but now...
everything is gone oredi...
i lost u in d end...im sori
wil u ever 4gve me?
but diz love...i dun think it is worth continueing..cuz he doesnt love me anymore...wat d use?
n all is left is these sweet n happy memories..
I will cherish n will oways remember OUR happy moments 2gather..
i know u nw hv difficulty in finding job n u ever told me dat a sensei ever said dat diz year wud b ur unlucky yr..
dear junior, believe in urself n dun 100% trust wat ppl said...it is ur life...n it is u who is goin 2 decide ur future...not dem...i will oways pray dat u will find a perfect career dat suits u best n high salary...i believe in u cuz i know u r not doz type dat wil gv up easily..but i knw u r doz type dat is willing 2 face d challenges in life...u r nt afraid of bitter..i admire diz side of u..whenever u face a challenge it means dat ur success id coming soon...believe in urself n believe in god =) god is oways der 2 help u n hint u a path 2wards ur future =)
have faith n oways be strong yea..i will oways remember u as d person dat i have oways loved..i appreciate ur love dat u hv given me before any of these happened..i nvr regretted being with u..
i will oways miss u..take care
I love you
from : Miyuki Xiao Mao

itz over...

itz over....
blame it on me...
i knew i started it 1st....
but itz for ur own gud....
im sori i made u angry....datz d oni way 2 make u hate me...i cnt bear 2 hate u...so i did it d other way round...i dun care hw u think of me nw...i just wan 2 end my suffer wen being with u...i feel like being used...im sori im not ur doormat...go find some1 else...im not fit 4 u...i deserve better n not some1 who oni thinks about himself....i cared n sacrificed so much 4 u...but diz is wat i get it d end...thx so much 4 d pain...n i knew i gave u a kinda pain in d other way round...i knw it hurts...if not u wil nvr know d pain im sufferring wen u r standing at my place...wat do u knw?
nothing.....
u knw nothing...i knew so much...but 'dem'?dey knew nothing...i dun care if u wan 2 compare cuz derz a difference...i knw everything but dey know nothing...datz da difference...if i know nothing i'll be as stupid as dem...falling in2 ur trap n lies...i wonder hw many times u hv lied 2 me odi...i wonder hw many other gals out der u hv dated behind me?i wonder hw many times u hv used me?
u cant answer me...n if u ask me i will nvr asnwer u...i hv sufferred for 3 months+ eversince b4 camp started...n all u ever think is urself...u wanted me 2 b loyal n said u trusted me...u cn trust me...but cn i trust u?no...look wat u did?i regretted i trusted u...u did so many things behind me...n im just left like a carpet lying on d floor...u lied so much..i feel like an idiot..tell me..wat wrong hv i done?answer me?huh...no use...u will nvr give me a proper answer...
im disapointed u told me dat ur love 2wards me fade eversince i went 2 camp...u said u loved M more den me...i was devastated..so hurt dat in d end u admit doz words out...thx 4 being honest with me...atleast nw i hv d heart 2 let u go..we cn oni b frenz...we cnt b 2gather...i dun wan 2 b da victim again...
u oways gv excuses 2 my answerz...b4 u say anything...y dun u try standing in my place 1st...feel it 1st b4 u gv ur comment..all diz while u were playing with me..using me..u werent serious with me...i felt cheated...ur words....so poisonous...i cnt trust u anymore...
just let diz b d end of us both...we hv no fate...i dun wan 2 say anything...i will not tell u diz face 2 face...i wan u 2 find diz out urself....i hv odi been a big fool...i dun wanna b another big stupid fool...thx 4 giving me chance 2 feel diz deep pain...
but no matter wat...i will treasure d moments wen im with u...throw d bitter but keep da sweet...i admit der r moments dat im happy being with u...but 2bad we ended up in diz way...lets just 4get it..i'll go my way n u'll go urz...i'll pray dat u will find ur happiness n success in ur career...but no matter wat happens i will nvr hate u...we're just meant 2 b frenz...
take care n god bless my fren...may all blessings b with eu...