same as usual.....==

finished a few assignments...but more wud pop out...i hv no idea wen i wud meet d fullstop ==
drawing is my passion...but too much of it wud seriously drive me mad..especially wen it comes to brainstorming...
hv been hanging out at winston's place lately..with zavk n ah lun...enjoyed watching dem completing their assignments...somehow i find it rather fun n peaceful hanging out der rather den staying at home n facing d same old thing...if u get wat i mean ==
haix...weekend was nvr fun..so i didnt actually bear dat in mind...was oways hoping 4 better...
monday nite i had a long chat wit zavk...it cured my boredomness n at d same time i somehow get 2 knw more bout him...it was fun...like a storybook or something...we shared a lot...didnt expected dat...
winston n ah lun were funny wen dey played snooker...i was like sitting behind wit zavk..we both chatted while dey both played n it was damn funny...their butts kp facing me wen dey wanted 2 aim 4 d balls...i was like sweat ==|||...
diz few days, hv been up till d early morn...panda + cat = ??? ==
pandat?pancat? == lolx
haix...wil b facing my midterm test diz thursday...hope 4 d best...
dry media assignments r also due on thursday...friday's d worst...final artwork 4 pepsi...eek...havent finalised my design yet...derz jz too much 2 choose..nt sure wich 2 finalised...eekk...
hope my drawings cud atleast fascinate d lecturer ..even a bit might lighten me up...i dun wanna c d sour look on his face...especially after he saw drawings dat were drawn by my mates..he luks pissed all d time wnever its their turn...so reminding myself 2 b oways 1st 2nd or 3rd in line...nvr in between or behind...dun wanna b d last 2 cry T.T
lolx...God Bless Me!!... >w

will diz life be changed?

've oways thought of having a better life...but perhaps nt at diz time...n i realized i've actually gotten used 2 my bz and hectic life...some of my frenz still couldnt cope..maybe time might heal dem..
cls was ok...but funny incidents did happen diz 2day..during lecture...my frenz n i kept laughing over diz "goldfish" guy who suddenly came 2 hug us jz 2 get in2 d picture...awkward but it did freaked my fren out...she was seriously terrified n her expressions did make me laugh till my face went all red like a tomato XD
wen i went bk after cls...i hungout arnd winston's n zavk's plce...started drawing my sketches but was lost of ideas wen i drew halfway...mind blocked..==
i was at their balcony n it started 2 drizzle..something popped up in my mind again...i started 2 grew quiet all of a suddent...was thinking of something but wen i try 2 ask myself wat was i thinking? diz thoughts kinda jz disappear like dat..diz has been happening eversince i came 2 KL..memories?past?wen will my mind get over it...especially during rainy days...
my frenz told me dat i might need some1 2 talk to...lonesome is wat dey usualy describe me behind doz laughter n happy face.."how did u manage to cover all dat?" == ...i seriously duno hw 2 answer dem...i dun wan other ppl 2 get d wrong idea...n i dun wan 2 make any1 worried...it makes me feel guilty at d same time..i dun wan dem 2 think dat i "minta kesian"...dats nt wat i wan...i wanted life 2 b normal...i hate ppl thinking like dat..think d wrong n negative way..
zavk had a long chat wit me at d balcony...it was kinda of a nice chat..shared alot though...
had supper ltr wit ah lun, winston & zavk...ah klun n winston wanted 2 play snooker but it was full so d plan was kinda out of line...so we went bk 2 melati...dey played pool n it was kinda humourous...competing against each other..hahax...
went bk n tried 2 slp but i cnt so i started fb-ing n msn-ing 2 pass my time...updating my blog...haix...i feel like wanna breath some fresh air...get out n hv some fun instead of staying at home all day like im trapped in jail doin my assignments all day long...seriously it sux...although i like drawing...but i cnt brainstorm wen im nt out.. i wish i cud c more things around my place here...
i wish i cud learn more...itz nice 2 hv frenz like winston n zavk...unfortunately clarence found a job n moved out dy..kinda sad..T.T
4 ppl had commented bout my thoughts dy...nt a typical 18 yr old...i sound mre older den dat... == omg...especially 2 doz who had lotsa heart 2 heart talk wit me...eek ><
i dun wanna sound old...i dun wanna b ah po ==
diffrnt ppl hv diffrnt points of view n comments..was dat n insult or a complimet? T.T ouch...lolx

robotic...==

life has oways been busy like this...

kinda got used to it...no fair...my frenz get to go out n gai2...eek...i wanna join...but den my assignments wont let me T.T

completed a few assignments early...wee~

wpnt hv 2 worry dat much ltr...sketching 4 dry media wine glass & designing pepsi...

lolx...im outta ideas...all comments will be like "i want something special"...

we did lotsa research but stil he's nt satsfied...hmm ==

jia you....

laz nite whole day at fud court...doin assignments n guessed wat...it rained...scary T.T

ltr at nite hang out at my frenz hse...did resume der voila...cnt believe i did dat in an hour time...wakaka...

felt hungry n went 4 supper at genting kelang...zavk drove us anyway...kelian he told me dat "when he's a driver, will oways b a driver" lolx ==

pity him...i cn imagine hw much he needed 2 spend 4 his petrol...it must hv hurt his wallet...dey were seriously super duper nice 2 me...chatted a lot n yeah i liked d atmosphere but i feel weird cuz i wasnt suppose 2 b wit their cycle...

winston designed a packaging for an instant noodle i guess..

dey were rili nice to me but den i feel like im a lightbulb or kelefeh or some sort...

eek...i rather mine my own stuff...shouldnt b such a troublemaker...

...............==

meow?

relaxing in the midst of busying?

Its week 6th in college n derz odi 8 assignments 2 b completed by nx week..
stress like hell..
i nd 2 pass up 5 of dem by diz wk n 3 by nx week...
itz like it has become part of my life routine of non-stop assignments...
besides, i think itz better den memorizing all doz thick bukz n calculation...i was nvr interested in academical subjects but was forced 2 so yeah i dun hv 2 suffer dat in college...thnk god...hahax
recently a fren of mine named melvin contacted me...he had diz crisi wit his gf...n his gf had another bf...he couldnt accept d fact dat his gf dumped him over another guy but i told him 2 b strong n no matter wat life must go on...
he still acted stubborn...i shook my head...i wonder wat wud happen ltr...i was jz worried bout him as a fren n he mistaken i fell 4 him...omg...sweat ==
he ask me 2 gv him time n all dat but im nt interested...2 me he's stil nt matured enuf 4 me n i dun think he even understnds me..
i ussualy like guys who understands me well n has a thinks maturely even in critical situations...it drives me nuts if a person happen 2 wanna commit suicide or do something crazy or wailed or watever in front of me...i'll feel awkward...nt my cup of tea...
haix...
seriously i dun wanna get involved wit him...he seems annoying n yeah i've oways wanted peace...weekend sucked...assignments whole day...well except for saturday...i went 2 carrefour 2 get some stuff n did a lil of walking...kinda entertaining...atleast itz better den ntg...i dun expect much...
monday...every1 hates diz day of d week...i though after i passed my redo-ed assignment my lecturer might be satisfied cuz i was super careful n neat while drawing n touching my art work...lolx...but unfortunately i 4gt my another file wich contained my sketchbook n attendance paper n assignment brief...ouch...so careless ><
well luckily he 4gave me n asked me 2 pass up my sketches nx monday...but still itz nt over yt..i still hv additional tasks...i even had frenz who r even worse...3rd time of redo...omg...but seriously their drawing seems like children's art work...nt mature n professional enuf...i kinda knew y d lecturer asked dem 2 redo it bk again...
after english cls...i tot i cud go bk n hv a gud rest but ish...itz raining heavily n i had 2 waot 4 d college bus 4 omos an hour...sucked ><
my leges were all cramp n my shoes were all damp n wet..itz like whenever i step on any tile or floor, trails of wet footsteps cud b seen clearly as if i've jz gone for a swim or something...eek ><
luckily i got on a bus wich wasnt rili full but still it luks packed 2 me..arrived home n yeah i luk like a wet kitten...soaked ==
enjoyed ice cream...recently im seriously addicted 2 ice cream especially chocolate flavour...however i dun rili wan a choc bar dat badly...but a tube or a stick of choc ice cream may definitely fish me easy... =3
im lovin' it...lolx
been slping rili late lately...i hpe i wont b a panda soon...but luckily i didnt hv eye bags underneath my precious eyes @@
gawd...itz late...im goin 2 pavilion 2mr...hope 2 c something special...will report in 2mr XD wee ~
nitez.... =3

Diz is ridiculous ==

this sucks... ==
i spend d whole nite completing my assignments...
drawing n becoming crazy...
itz 4am n im stil drawing..my frenz all started scolding me a maniac ==
ouch ><
i thought once im done wit my drawing i cud hv a gud nite rest...
sigh of relief?not gonna happen..
wen I accidently spilled ink leaving a blotch on my precious drawing T.T
i was dumbfounded...i tried cleaning d blotch wit tissues or watsoever...
ntg worked...eventually i cried...
tears prickled my eyes like hell...my eyes were all swollen n red..
i knew i had 2 redo another...itz due d nx morning at 8am...wat other choice do i hv?
so i cried n sobbed while redrawing it all over again..sad o T.T
6am...i finished it..relief n all dat...i thought i cud rest but cls at 8am..i nd 2 rush...bath, get ready my art materials n stuffs n all dat...get changed n rush 2 skul..
luckily d college bus arrived jz on time wen i reached d bus stop..haix
arrived in skul..had no mood 4 breakfast n straight away headed 2 class which is like SO FAR!! T.T morning exercise? im already exhausted like hell n i hv 2 walk a mountain..legs all cramp n tired plus sleepy..im so in a bad mood..
ungh ><.. i tot i was rili early but luckily i saw jackson..guess he was d 1st 2 arrive wit a choc milk in his hands ( his favourite drink ) ==
wen d lecturer arrived..i thought hell wud be over...not ==
omos half of our cls did last minute work n drew their drawings as if diz was sme kind of a play or something...dey werent serious at all == i was furious ><
in d end...d lecturer kp giving comments n insults...i knw he was in a bad mood n i knw he did dat on d purpose...if i were him i wud do d same thng either..n he said 1 thing...
REDO...REDO?!?!?! >< @@ T.T
NO!!! dat aws like all my effort n he wants all of us 2 redo...he didnt care whether wo're done it or nt he jz wan us all 2 redo it...omg! i omos fainted..suck!
luckily he wanted it nx monday...cuz i hv other assignments wich needs 2 b completed by diz week..devastated n all..haix...outta words... ==
once i cme bk home..i felt so tired..i feel like jumping on my bed n enter slumber world..but once i surf d net on my laptop..halfway typing...i dozed off..too tired...i force myself 2 d bed n slept,,,slept a few hours n woke up again ==
tired..body ache..headache..haix.. ==
hope 2mr might b better...ish ==

decieved? white lies?

whoa there...hold ur horses...

wat in d world is happening here?

y r dey 2 sides of a story?

u said she wanted u bk n all dat..desperately misses u like hell n oways chatted wit u wen i havent got d time 2 caht wit u...

while her side of story..she said u wanted her bk..said she's d oni 1 who cared 4 u d most n understnd u d most..

wat is goin on here?

r u trying 2 lie 2 me?

'i like d way u sweet talk wit although i knw is fake'...i saw her writing diz n izit true?means i was rite?u were lying 2 me all diz while??

wat m i 2 u?

an asshole?a doormat?a stupid cat?

i felt deceived by ur words..makes me luk more like an idiot..no wonder everyime wen i ask u quesions...all of ur answers were all illogic..weird answers n r repeated..itz like u duno hw 2 answer me but covering urself at d same time...

dat is d reason y i cudnt cooperate wit ur diz behaviour no longer anymore..everytime i wanted 2 focus on my assignments which costs my life..u wud start bombing my phone as if it has no battery life or watsoever...annoyed n irritated..i feel like throwing my phone away...but i didnt

i didnt knw hw 2 convince u 2 go bk wit her...u werent supposed 2 wait 4 me...cuz i realized d person dat suits u most is her..she misses u more n cares 4 u more...unlike me...i didnt care n answered ur phone...makes u even worse cuz i didnt care 4 u a bit...oni focusing on my assignments as if im hving a relationship wit college..

i tot u wud understand...but i den realized itz oni 4 d time being..

short period...u wud pop up d questions all over again...as if d words jz sprew out of ur other ear...sweat ==

in d end i knew i had no choice but 2 use force...after reading her blog n ur wall n d help of her...i knew dat force is best way...

she needs u...n dun lie...i knw u stil wan her..it shows dat u both hv fate...my fate will soon b in KL..i will nt go bk der..unless im done wit college...dat will b 3 yrs frm nw...it will b long

but time past fast..i guess 3 years wud seem like 3 months..hahax...very funny...college in advanced?dat wud b an advantage...who wudnt wan 2 waste their time?

spending most of my time drawing like a mad girl n sipping green tea while logging on 2 facebook...diz will b my daily routine..n i bet i'll get used 2 it..i dun nd a guy 2 depend on..i wana b independent..achieve my goals on my own..face the challenges...n hv peace..

although yeah itz a hectic life here...but i chose diz path so i hv 2 bear wit d truth n adapt it..a wet blanket is definitely a bad option..so i jz go wit d flow..best option...

god bless me in everything

i've been reading astrologies n birth signs, n numerologies n card readings n watever reading it is..all of dem said dat diz yr wud b a yr of my luck..n d yr wer i will meet my prince in white horse...huh? O.o

whoa...sounds cool..but im nt gonna belive in d prince thingy except 4 d yr luck..prince?hw lucky cn dat b?

not interestrd in d moment...but if der rili is goin 2 b 1 appearing rite after me..i might wanna c how dat ends..gud or bad?ders stil a free movie 2 watch..laughs*

wink*

Expectations out of view...

Life....

it wasn't dat simple after all...but still i tried handling it with lotsa care...i dun wanna waste my life like trash...i wanna take diz opportunity 2 appreciate my new life here..

i've seen a lot diz few days...well maybe jz 2 much....

skul started but it seems like everything went on so fast i didnt expected it 2 b dat fast...faster den d speed of light huh?

assignments r starting 2 bundle up into a mountain form n nw im hving diz headache, finding a solution 2 finish dem all in time...drawings n readings n notes-studying n presentation...i wonder wen will all dat end?

driving me nutz wud b d perfect word...didnt expect college 2 b stress...but still life is extremely diffrent diz way...

my bro asked me 2 move out...ouch

after he broke up with 'her'...he wailed...i got shocked...burst in2 tears n all dat...i seriously didnt want 2 c him dat way...n shockingly he told me 2 get off his sight wit an arrogant voice...i was hurt wit his words but i assumed his emotions werent dat stable yet so i cooled down...it was scary...n yeah i wasa scared at dat time...i didnt wan anything bad 2 happen 2 him...d nx day i went 2 skul...i knew he wudnt wanna fetch me...he's jz too extremely tired frm all doz crying...so i went 2 skul myself...luckily i learnt how 2 get on d college bus odi...kinda ez though...

halfway during lecture...my bro smsed me...'can u move out frm my room?'...dumbfounded...wat was dat suppoed 2 mean?

1st u told me dat u're gonna take care of me n wud guide me...wud treat me like real sis n diz is hw u treat me in d end?i duno who 2 blame...i blamed myslef instead...mayb i was too much of a burden 2 him...so i jz replied ok...i didnt knw wer 2 go...but luckily i found a place 2 stay in d end...temporarily i guess...

he didnt tell d reasons y he asked me 2 move out...no nothing...not even a single word...frm dat day onwards...i cudnt trust him anymore...well not dat much...his words...i wonder if i cn believe dem...after a few days of leaving his hse im ok wit it...mayb cuz i cn easily adapt in new environments...so i had no problems...

but 1 thing disapoint me really bad...i saw links in facebook...all about diz defamation n bad comments bout my bro...right in TARC page in photos...i was like damn shocked...i knew he was a playboy but i didnt expect his name 2 b dat rili KOTOR...i was rili disapointed wit his actions...wat he had done in d past...n i realized he didnt changed a bit...he said all his ex had problems n wudnt negotiate wit him...but i realized d real problem is him...not them...dey were all innocent...n he was d 1 actually addicted 2 'dat'..i knew wat happened cuz i was staying at his place but i didnt mind actually...i didnt care...cuz it wasnt my business...

but wen i saw those links n read those blogs n forum i was like dumbfounded...i didnt expect him 2 do those..he looked so nice n gud boy n all dat n suddenly doz links jz pop out like dat in front of me...wen i read dem..i was in deep shock...in my mind i was like no way diz cn b my bro...wen i read d blogs properly...it was rili him...his name stated der so clearly wit his car plate number n his address..it was definitely my bro...itz him all d while...omg...i duno y he wud do such a thing...he ever told me once bout his life story...bout a gal who got all crazy bout him n desperately wanted him...but d blog...itz like telling d same story but d other way round...d blog said he drugged her drink n took her virginity away n juz left her bleeding wit rashes...omg...i was shocked...was he really dat cruel?or shud i say inhumane?

OMG!!!

i cnt believe all diz...n im like facing him everyday of my life...studio n all dat...huh...nw i knw y many ppl hated him n his attitude...some girls might knw d real facts of him n wodnt fall 4 him odi...but stil der r stil many innocent gals out der pounded by him i guess...all of dem...innocent...n dey didnt knw wat was his history n wat he's gonna do...sweet talk? flirt?

he ever did dat all 2 me...but luckily i wasnt flattered cuz he wasnt my type n he knew im really choosy in guys...luckily i didnt fell in2 his trap...

thank god...

ps: 2 all gals...plz find ur rights n guys plz respect d ppl around u especially gals...TQ

good girl gone bad?

mmm...
eversince i came 2 KL i started sleeping rili late weh...
lama2 cn b nite gui liao...hahax
my bro's grand opening was a success but stil ders a few part he's not satisfied..but it wasnt dat obvious la...
i was suppose 2 perform but eventually i got a sorethroat so i cnt sing 2 high pitch...
n yeah wen d ceremony ended...contiue 2nd round drink with comittee memberz...until 3am+...geng...den go play pool until 4.30am..walaoneh...damn tired but had fun la
2day my bo organized a BBQ at his studio specially for comitttee memberz...
siu kai yit...xixi
n lotsa beers...i wanted d shiraz merlot but finish odi...i prefer red wine den beer...much smoother n milder...lolx...
1 of dem got drunk n vomited ><
i kinda got drunk 2 but rested awhile n recovered..."yamcha" until 5am+ weh...d time wer every1 got up 2 go jogging...hahax
after dat kemas2 n went home...but stil cnt slp...mayb i rested 2 much jz nw..n nw my bro slping like pig odi..hahax...itz obvious dat he's tired...luckily 2mr no cls...cn wake up a lil late....xixi...
2mr gotta clean up da studio n help out at studio...haix...tired la...but hv 2..sigh
kelian my bro 2....
haix
gotta go oioi ler..nitez..2mr nd 2 pump up energy T.T

My New Life...

I knew my life would change tremendously as soon as i step in KL...

i left my part time job n decided 2 further my studies in KL TARCollege....

taking graphic design n thnk god i managed 2 get a scholarship so it wont be 2 much of a burden 2 me....

temporarily staying at my bro eric's hse...

things changed so fast n i've seen quite a few scenes dat r hard 2 b described....

d 1st time i visited my bro's studio i was like wow...cool...

n frm dat day onwards i started helping my bro...whatever dat needs 2 b done at d studio...

i dun mind helping out...he's been taking rili gud care of me...i felt guilty...so nice 2 hv him...like a father taking care of a daughter...hahax

mm...a few days past n skul started...

holy u will nvr imagine hw boring it is...i almost slept at mass call orientation day...2nd day was even worse...i kp listening 2 their announcements n rules until i rili did fell aslp...but luckily d lecturer didnt notice...or perhaps no one noticed...hahax

3rd day was society day...d day wer i've gotta choose my academic n non-academic groups...i wanted 2 join d music n choir society...eric said music wont b a regret...so i registered 4 it...he even asked me 2 try out 4 d SWC related 2 student welfare...well i didnt expect dem 2 hv an interview...but luckily it wont b 2day...probably another day or something..hahax

i didnt dare 2 enter 2 much..im afraid dat my schedle might b packed..i'd rather help out at da studio..

it is like day by day i cn c lots of my bro's secrets...

his life, career n most shocking r his past relationships....

hoho...sounds kinda like a playboy but im not sure if he is o nt...i admit i stil dun quite understand him as well as his ex...

itz like his life is full of girls...facebook n reality...holy...fans n admirers...u cn even name dem...eventhough im nt him oso i pening owh...lolx...

but u cn c dat he focuses more on his studio n career den d girls...u cn c dat he cn even ignore dem...

talented n funny bro...he made a gud choice of focusing on his career 1st in his mindset...wen he's stable wit his career ody den he'll think bout da relationships..

gud luck bro...ders jz 2 many fishes out der...bless eu dat u will find a responsible n loyal gf dat has no problem in communication wit eu... =3

as 4 me...no comment...i guess skul is 1st....if i do well in skul...career is not a problem...wat i nd nw is jz time...time is precious...i wonder wat wil happen if assignments r starting 2 rade our minds till dey get all blocked up or something...

sigh...

may all blessings b wit eu al.... =3

confusion..

Time past so fast....

itz nearly d month of May...

im working part time at upperstar a western restaurant...im at d morning shift but sometimes it feels like im working d morning nite shift..everytime i got bk frm work..my whole body ached..tired but worth d experience =3

many things happened diz few days...

i met bk wit andrew n he introduced me 2 a fren name stanley...

we hang out like omos everyday eversince den...

well andrew didnt changed much in his character but changed alot physically..hahax..

a few weeks ltr...stanley told me he likes me..gasp

dat was cute of him but at dat time i wasnt ready 2 b in a realtionship...

he was super nice n i cn c dat he's rili loyal n all dat...he's kinda cute in a way..but still my heart is still under a heartbroken condition...

eversince my ex came bk everything omos changed...at 1st he told me hates me n wanted a break...but nw..i dun get it...my ex told me he wanted a rekindle n regretted wat he said b4...i was in deep shock though..i didnt expext dat respond...but i didnt put dat in mind...

it made me even more confuse of our status...i realize i didnt wanna hurt myself badly again so i reconfirm our relationship status 2 jz stay as bestfrenz...he kept silent but still calls me dear...i assume he got used 2 calling me dat...but still he tells me dat he still misses me...

i cnt do anything...i cnt hate...all i cn do is jz treat him as a fren who needs company...but i rather hang out wit stanley...he's much more of a calm n steady person...he's not doz type who throws tantrum..

im not sure wat i did...all i knw is dat everytime stanley asked me 4 a chance itz oways not d rite time...i rejected him..n yeah i knw it hurts him...2 tell d truth i do kinda like him...nvr a guy ever treated me dat nice n humble b4...i realized im not perfect enuf 4 him...im scared dat i might hurt him 1 day cuz he's jz 2 nice...n im like d opposite of him...although he denies it...but still i feel guilty...im jz not ready....i actually thought he cud wait till my heart heals...but 2 late he found someone dat he loves already...

i was shock at 1st n confused...cuz i still rmb dat he said he wanna wait..he's nw with clover...he told he had a choice of either 2 b with me or clover when he wanted 2 ask a chance frm me..after i rejected him he told me he started with clover...hell yeah i was shocked..

lukz like i dun nd 2 wait anymore..it shows dat we both hv no fate since he chose dat path of being with her...it was rili sweet 2 c dem both 2gather =3 like 2 birds pirching on a tree chirping all day long...i wonder when will dat b my turn? i wonder if i might find my mr right? i hope destiny cud lead diz path of mine...i wish everything wud turned out fine...although im stil under confusion but i guessed working might stop me from thinking 2 much..

sigh..